Beauty for Ashes

Shame.  A lot of us carry this around when it's not ours to bear.  But why do we do it anyway?  Someone made me realize this weekend just how much shame I have been carrying around with me. He made me realize how this shame has been holding me back from being all that God made me to be.  Shame has me in chains and shackles and that is preventing me from taking steps forward.  Instead, I have been knocking myself back a few steps at a time or just staying in the same place. I've been asking myself for the last few days-why?  Why are you carrying around something that isn't yours to carry?  Why are you bearing a burden that you shouldn't?  And the truth is, I can't answer it, really.  You see, I have been carrying around a tremendous amount of shame as well as embarrassment because of my past-because of what my story is.  Because of the subject matter, I feel as if I am constantly being judged or looked upon a certain way.  Because ...

It's hard not to be still when you are flying through the clouds.  It renders you speechless because the views are so breathtaking. You can't help but think, 'wow, God'. I caught my youngest, Owen, quietly snapping away.  I suppose he was in awe of the beauty + of seeing the earth below him through a different set of eyes; possibly thinking this must be God's view every single day.  But mostly, watching Owen in that still, quiet moment, made me think about what God has made beautiful in my life.  The blessing of children + my husband + second chances + grace + unconditional love.  It's nice to slow down and have those quiet moments to reflect + to thank the one who has made all of that possible.