Beauty for Ashes

Single moms will always hold a special place in my heart.  That journey is challenging and frustrating and lonely and just plain stinks. You know, whether you are a new single mom or have been one for many years, I just want to love and encourage you today. I want to tell you that you are amazing and beautiful.  I want you to hear that God loves you and sees your struggles.  He is right there with you even though you may not feel it. Like me, I'm sure you never envisioned motherhood this way.  But the reality is, here you are, raising your child alone or in a split family.  I know how many challenging situations can arise, but for me, one of the hardest things I had to deal with was the time away from my boys.  You know, being a mama was all I ever wanted to be.  When I thought about having them, I didn't see this reality.  And when it happened it was as if I had been hit in the face with a brick wall.  I didn't know how to be 'alone'. ...

Do you ever feel like you have messed up so much that there is no way God would welcome you into His Kingdom?  That there is no way He could ever love someone like you?  That He would never look past your mistakes, your failures, your sin?  That He would never want to bless your life? One of the lies the enemy wants us to believe is that there is no way we could ever turn our lives around after we have failed.  The enemy wants us to live feeling defeated and worthless.  The enemy wants us to live feeling guilty and condemned. The enemy wants us to believe that God would never love a sinner like us; not after what we have done in our past.  The enemy knows our weaknesses and wants us to believe that because of our past, our mistakes and failures, that we could never be loved by God.  Because of our sins, God would never love us enough to want to free us let alone call us His son or daughter. Our Heavenly Father loves us regardless of our past. ...

Cody and Owen, If I could give you any kind of advice it would be to just live.  Live your lives to the fullest.  Don't be afraid to go on new adventures.  Travel the world.  Don't be afraid to experience new things.  Meet new people.  Try new foods-at least once.  Do not ever be okay with the status quo.  Take risks.  Dream bigger.  When you are told no, don't let it defeat you.  Let it drive you.  Never lose that drive to become better men.  You only get one shot at this life, don't waste a single minute of it. Most importantly though, have a heart that loves God.  Put Him first above all else.  Live a life that honors Him.  He will watch over your coming and going. Because one day, you will leave home to forge your own way in this world.  At times, it will seem big and scary.  He will be your protector.  He will guide you along the paths you are to walk down.  Remember to be st...

When I look at you, I can't help but to smile.  It starts from my heart and exudes onto my face.  When you hold my hand, I can still feel the warm, tingly feelings I felt the very first time you reached out for it.  When you scoop me up in your arms, I feel safe and at peace.  I can feel how much you love me in your embrace.        There are days when I wonder how in the world I deserve you?  Loving me can't be that easy at times.  After all, when we met, I was broken.  Some parts of me still are.  Instead of just letting me try and mend all alone, you are right there beside me; helping me, pushing me along.  Speaking truth and life into me.  Even with the brokenness, you love me anyway.  Somehow, you continue to sacrifice daily for me without any hesitation.  Somehow, you chose to love me.   I have the best of the best, best friend in you.  But, you're not just my best friend, you'...

As the sun comes up, I am reassured by my God that He is there.  As I open up my eyes, I can already see the yellow and orange colors reflecting in the sky and on the lake; letting me know that it indeed is a new day.  I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this way, but today I felt as if the sunrise was just for me.  This morning, I was just overcome with such a peace by seeing the sun make her appearance.  I felt His presence all around me.  I felt His love and His warmth.  The lake is so calm this morning; just smooth as glass.  No sign of choppy waters.  It made me think about life and hardships.  About how we can be sailing on smooth waters one moment and in an instant, it can all change.  A storm can quickly roll in and churn up the water making it so rough that you are having a hard time trying to stay afloat.  In all times, I'm thankful that I know God.  I'm thankful that He is sailing with me on calm waters and ...

Mommy, please don't be sad.  I know this is tough. Mommy, please don't be sad.  You loved me enough.  Mommy, please don't be sad.  I know you wanted me to grow.    Mommy, please don't be sad.  I know you love me so.    Mommy, please don't be sad.  I know you want me back. Mommy, please don't be sad.  I'm safe where I'm at.   Mommy, please don't be sad.  I know how much you've cried. Mommy, please don't be sad.  I know how much you've tried.  I want you to know how much you mean to me.  I want you to know that you are a blessing. I want you to know that I didn't go far. I want you to know that I'm up in the stars.   I want you to know that when you are missing me. Just look up to the Heavens and you will see.  I want you to know that I miss you so. I want you to know that I had to let go. I want you to know that God gave me the b...

Owen is 10! How is that even possible?  My baby boy is now in the double digits! Wow, that's extremely hard to believe.  I know it's cliche, but, your children really do grow in the blink of an eye.   Today is about Owen and his ten years he has been part of our lives.  Today is about celebrating this amazing young man!  Today is about laughing and having the best day ever.  Today is about cake and ice cream; or strawberry pie, one of Owen's favorites.   For me, on birthdays, I find myself reminiscing.  As a mom, you are reminded every year about that special day God blessed you with a child.  I don't think of the pain involved; I think of the pure joy I felt in all of the moments.  The moment I held him.  The moment I heard his first cry.  The moment he gazed into my eyes.  The moment I nursed him when he was moments old.  There are so many moments.  So many firsts.  So many years of mak...

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 You know, some birthdays are harder than others.  There is just something about turning another year older that gets to you.  My thirty-fifth birthday is on Wednesday, and I have to admit, I am having a hard time with this one.  It seems like just yesterday, I was turning the big 3-0.  The older I get, the faster the years fly by.  I just need time to slow down just a bit.   This birthday, has got me thinking a lot about what true  beauty looks like and what the world says it is.  For so many years, I was led to believe the wrong things about it all.  For so long, I thought to be truly beautiful, I had to have this perfect body in order to even be considered normal or pretty.  Magazines, television, and the entertainment industry all label what they see as beautiful the wrong way.  To be beautiful, you don...

God, I'm reaching up, trying to get out of this valley but I can't seem to get a grip.  Lord, this walk through the valley is hard this time.  It's dark and scary.  I can barely see the sunlight shining through the trees.  Lord, please extend your hand.  Just enough for me to grab hold of.  Please help me climb out of this valley.  I'm not wanting to be at the top of the mountain, just high enough to clear the trees.  High enough to feel the warmth of the sun.  High enough to be able to breathe fresh air again.  I know I'm here for a reason, but haven't figured it out yet.  I'm praying and listening for your still small voice.  Lord, the days are getting long.  I'm growing tired and weak.  My faith is shaken.  Your voice seems to be fading too.  Please restore in me my peace.  Please restore my hope.  Please restore my strength. Son, I know this valley is tough, but you will get through ...

Growing up, I didn't really understand what it meant to have a sister.  I never realized the gift God gave me until we were adults with children of our own.  I wish there was a way to go back to when we were kids.  I would do things differently.  Not only do I have a sister, but I have a best friend for life.  I am so thankful for her. I had a few amazing people I could really depend on after my divorce.  But my sister was the one who made the biggest impact on my life.  I know that God had his hand in that from the very beginning.  I can't even begin to count the number of times she just sat there and listened to me sob.  Or the number of times she encouraged me to stay strong and that tomorrow was another day.  I can't count the number of times she prayed over me and the number of times she was just there. She will never fully understand how much she did during that time of my life or how much she means to me now.  She wi...

The perspective of a child is so pure.  Their excitement for God is a breath of fresh air.  It's so amazing to be able to re-live the newness and excitement through the eyes and heart of your children.  As a believer, I know the newness of it all can fade the longer we follow Him.  At times, we find ourselves just going through the motions.  I don't know about you, but, I don't want to just go through the motions.  I want to always live with that excitement for God like a new believer does. The question, "what is God to you?" was asked at camp last week.  Cody said some were saying, "God is peace and God is love, He is hope."  I then asked, "what is God to you?"  He said, " mom, He is EVERYTHING.  We could only write down one word, so I wrote down everything.  Because He is peace and He is love and so much more.  He isn't just one or the other.  He is all of it." Wow.  He is so right-God is everything.  I...

June.  It used to be a month that I dreaded.  Dreaded because it was a reminder of when my former marriage came to an end.  Secretly, every June that rolled around, I tried to pretend it was just another month.  I tried not to reflect on that difficult time in my life.  But sometimes, it was impossible.  My mind just went there.  Every June that came, I thought to myself, "you made it another year, Kelli".  That was then. This is now.  On my third June being single, you came into my life.  Literally, the same week that my former marriage ended.  How ironic.  God timed our meeting perfectly as if He intentionally was replacing the old June memories with new ones.  Ones filled with you.  Since you came into my life, I have never looked back at the then.  I don't recall sad, dark memories anymore.  They have all been replaced with love and joy and thankfulness-for you.  I think of how perfectly God plann...

I was once in your shoes not too long ago.  I know what it's like to want someone to do life with.  Someone to love you the right way.  I remember all of that.  I know this season is tough for you.  You have been a single mom for many years now and you are growing tired.  Tired of trying to keep up with it all.  Tired of not having someone to talk to at the end of a hard day.  But what if I told you, "God's best is waiting for you?" He is out there.  God will show you one day soon.  Someone who will love you the way you are  supposed to be loved.  He will speak kindly to you.  He will build you up, not tear you down.  He will support you in any decisions you make.  He will laugh with you and cry with you.  He will be there for you always.   But until that time comes, let God fill his shoes.  Talk to God about your day.  About every struggle and decision.  Let God show you how muc...

My heart is heavy tonight for you, my friend.  I want you to know that you will get through this divorce.  You will overcome.  I will do anything to help you through it.  I will listen when you need to be heard.  I will cry with you when you feel lost.  I will laugh with you on a good day.  And, I will celebrate with you when you overcome. I know you feel like you have no clue what you are doing anymore.  You have so many thoughts and emotions.  There are so many questions that you don't know how to answer.  You feel like you are just stuck in this moment of time.  All you want is for things to be normal again.    What if I told you that you didn't have to do it alone.  You don't have to worry or fear. You don't have to carry this heartache or the burden that comes along with this divorce.  You don't have too.  All you need is a little faith.  Trust God and allow Him to help you through. ...

My Daughter, I know you are struggling. I know you are hurting. I know you can't see a way out of your current situation. I know you are desperate for help. Follow me. Follow me and I will provide everything you need. Follow me and I will guide you along the path to your future. The future I have in store for you. I need you to trust me. I need you to have faith in me. I need you to be ready and willing to follow me when and where I ask. The choice to follow me won't come easy. It is com pletely out of your comfort zone. I know you are a fighter. I know it's hard for you to ask for help. Follow me and you will never be the same. I am watching you struggle. I am listening to your cries. I have been waiting for you to seek me, to ask me for help. I want to carry all of your burdens, your heartaches, your sorrow. In turn, I will give you a peaceful heart. I will give you rest for your weary body. I will turn your sorrow into dancing. You will feel my unconditional love ...

Joyce Meyer said something today that really spoke to me.  She said, " you can get over your past if you believe there is nothing from your past that will prevent you from having a great future. "   This couldn't be more true.  I know that I am guilty of allowing my past to influence my present.  Especially when it's a feeling or an emotion of what once was.  When I allow this to happen, I am only robbing myself of a great future.  I applied her statement to my life.  Just because God has redeemed me from my past doesn't mean I won't have trials that come up.  The problem is when I allow the feelings of the past to consume me now.  I don't know about you, but this isn't the way I want to live.  After my divorce, that chapter of my life was over.  It shouldn't still have any impact on the new chapter I am writing with Adam.  But sometimes, it does.  It does because I allow it without even realizing.  Not that long...

Adam, I feel like I don't express to you enough how important you are to me.  I need you to know that I love you more and more every single day.   I couldn't imagine my life without you in it.  I want you to know that I pray for you daily.  I know you do a lot for our family and that can't be easy.  I am thankful for you-for your heart.  I am amazed at how well you love people.  You make me want to be a better person, a better believer, a better wife, a better mom.  Thank you for pushing me outside of my comfort zone.  For pushing me to want more out of life and to not be okay with the status quo.  I realize now, before you, I wasn't living.  You make life exciting for me.  Every day is a new adventure with you.  Even if that simply means we are laying on the couch and stumbling upon a new series on apple tv.   Thank you for ALL you sacrifice-for ME.  I know you still have dreams that pull at your soul. ...

Motherhood.  What an incredible blessing it is to be a mother.  I have been a mom for twelve years.  TWELVE YEARS!!  It really does go by in the blink of an eye.  I have watched my children accomplish every single milestone up to this point.  I have laughed with them, lost many hours of sleep trying to comfort them, spent nights shedding tears over them.  I have spent countless hours worrying for them.  But mostly, I have spent the most hours in prayer for my boys.  Those prayers started when I realized as a little girl all I ever wanted to be was a mom.  It’s days like today, that you reflect most as a mom.  It makes you realize or understand what your mother must feel about you.  All the blood, sweat and tears your mom poured over you.  All she sacrificed for YOU.  You realize how grateful you are for her.  My mom has been a mom for thirty-four years.  I can only imagine that the love you feel for you...

Single mothers- I know how much you worry, how much you struggle. I know how hard you work to provide and how often you question how you will get by this month. I know how hard it is on you. I just want to tell you that you are doing an amazing job. You are so strong...a lot stronger than you think. God will always provide a way for you. God will provide the things you need most. Being a single mother was the hardest thing that I have had to do. It was not all sunshin e and rainbows. There were hard, dark times. When those moments started to drown me, my faith and my God was there. Without it, I don't know where I would be today. My prayer for you is that when those storm clouds start rolling in, you look up. No matter how big the mess, pray and remember to always keep your faith. Never once doubt that God isn't there with you. He is always right beside you.  In 2 Corinthians 2:14 it says, " But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Chr...

“Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.  Sing to him, sing  praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.  Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.  Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.  Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced.”  Psalm 105:1-5 God will redeem your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past so it doesn’t become their future.  The scripture is very clear, we are to tell it to all.  God is an amazing God who loves us even though we fail him daily.  He loves us enough to forgive and forget our mistakes and is the only one who is able to redeem us from our past.For years, I have been ashamed of my story.  I would only tell it to the women I felt it would help.  Women who were dealing with the same things that God saved me from.  I wanted to be th...