Finding Yourself
Single moms will always hold a special place in my heart. That journey is challenging and frustrating and lonely and just plain stinks. You know, whether you are a new single mom or have been one for many years, I just want to love and encourage you today. I want to tell you that you are amazing and beautiful. I want you to hear that God loves you and sees your struggles. He is right there with you even though you may not feel it.
Like me, I'm sure you never envisioned motherhood this way. But the reality is, here you are, raising your child alone or in a split family. I know how many challenging situations can arise, but for me, one of the hardest things I had to deal with was the time away from my boys. You know, being a mama was all I ever wanted to be. When I thought about having them, I didn't see this reality. And when it happened it was as if I had been hit in the face with a brick wall. I didn't know how to be 'alone'. I did't know how to be Kelli. I only knew how to be a mom. The truth is, it took a long time before I figured it out and found myself. Today, I don't struggle with the time away as much, but it's still there. I don't think it will ever go away as it's only natural for me to desire more time with them.
If you are a single mama in a split family dynamic like I was, you have no choice but to be away from your babies. I want to encourage you to really try and find yourself in those still, quiet moments when they are away. Be intentional about going on small trips or having a new adventure. Be intentional with what you do on your time alone. If you need rest then rest. And it's okay to pamper yourself with a manicure or pedicure. It's important to keep yourself happy and healthy so you can be the best mom to your children.
What took me so long to figure out was how to not feel guilty about living while they were away. I really wish I would have figured out this part a little sooner. But it wasn't until yesterday when it all really clicked. I was asked how I feel when I'm in another state and my children are a plane ride away. You know, I have been living so long with the week on week off schedule that I forget that most people can't wrap their brain around it. This is our normal. Our reality is only seeing the boys two weeks out of a month or twenty-six weeks a year. How ever you want to look at it, I have a lot of time without them. But me spending that time feeling down or lost isn't living. I have no choice but to be away from my children twenty-six weeks a year; so why wouldn't I make the best out of that time? Why wouldn't I want to have fun and enjoy myself?
I know the road ahead may look bleak. And you're probably thinking that there is no way you can get to a point of enjoying your alone time. But I'm here to tell you that you are stronger than you think. You are capable of living, truly living while you are without your children. I pray that if you are feeling lost that you find yourself again. I pray that you find the excitement in really living during that time.
Like me, I'm sure you never envisioned motherhood this way. But the reality is, here you are, raising your child alone or in a split family. I know how many challenging situations can arise, but for me, one of the hardest things I had to deal with was the time away from my boys. You know, being a mama was all I ever wanted to be. When I thought about having them, I didn't see this reality. And when it happened it was as if I had been hit in the face with a brick wall. I didn't know how to be 'alone'. I did't know how to be Kelli. I only knew how to be a mom. The truth is, it took a long time before I figured it out and found myself. Today, I don't struggle with the time away as much, but it's still there. I don't think it will ever go away as it's only natural for me to desire more time with them.
If you are a single mama in a split family dynamic like I was, you have no choice but to be away from your babies. I want to encourage you to really try and find yourself in those still, quiet moments when they are away. Be intentional about going on small trips or having a new adventure. Be intentional with what you do on your time alone. If you need rest then rest. And it's okay to pamper yourself with a manicure or pedicure. It's important to keep yourself happy and healthy so you can be the best mom to your children.
What took me so long to figure out was how to not feel guilty about living while they were away. I really wish I would have figured out this part a little sooner. But it wasn't until yesterday when it all really clicked. I was asked how I feel when I'm in another state and my children are a plane ride away. You know, I have been living so long with the week on week off schedule that I forget that most people can't wrap their brain around it. This is our normal. Our reality is only seeing the boys two weeks out of a month or twenty-six weeks a year. How ever you want to look at it, I have a lot of time without them. But me spending that time feeling down or lost isn't living. I have no choice but to be away from my children twenty-six weeks a year; so why wouldn't I make the best out of that time? Why wouldn't I want to have fun and enjoy myself?
I know the road ahead may look bleak. And you're probably thinking that there is no way you can get to a point of enjoying your alone time. But I'm here to tell you that you are stronger than you think. You are capable of living, truly living while you are without your children. I pray that if you are feeling lost that you find yourself again. I pray that you find the excitement in really living during that time.