The Withholding

“God will often guide your life through what He provides for you, but sometimes, He will guide you through what He withholds” -Steven Furtick

This quote is so profound.  As I sit here writing this, the one thing I know to be true is that He does guide you through it all.  The good, the bad, the ugly and chaotic.  When I first read this quote, the immediate pain of Him guiding me through what is being withheld weighs heavy on my heart.

The reality of infertility and not being able to conceive is tremendous.  Something I never thought I would have to walk through.  But for four years now this has been my journey.  Months and months of “not yet”.  Days of dreaming and praying; of hanging on tight to my faith and sometimes letting it go to feel what my heart needed to feel.  The withholding is teaching me something.  What, I don’t yet know or understand.  But if God is saying, “not yet” it’s for a reason, and that I know first hand. 

I know that He is guiding me, guiding us, through our longing to have a child.  He is guiding us through the disappointment and heartache, the letting go and giving of our hearts to trust Him and His plans for our family.  To embrace this time we have with just us in order to prepare us for whatever is up ahead.  


This growing and learning, and trusting and giving up control, has a purpose.  In the withholding, there is always beauty if you look for it.   The promise is there living on the inside of my heart.  The promise has already been put in motion.  So while He is guiding me through the withholding, I’m praising Him for the promise.  

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