Trust

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6

How do I trust in the Lord with all my heart, when all my heart hurts?  How do I get to that place I once was where this was all I had?  The trusting doesn’t come easily for me anymore.  My child-like faith has been sucked up by life and the storms in it.  Causing me to stumble and fall; and blow around in the wind without knowing the direction I’m to go.    

I’m sure, with anyone’s walk, they find themselves in a place like this at one time.  Feeling beat up and broken; and not knowing if God is still pleased with them.  I should know how to get back to the place of being able to trust; for God has been there by my side through the worst parts of my life.  

Through infidelity, divorce, emotional abuse and the destruction caused by a narcissist; without Him, there wouldn’t be the me today.  I know when I am weak, He is strong.  And that my heart is forever changed to see people and view the world a little differently because of the trials I’ve endured.  

I have to ask myself, ‘what makes this storm different’?  And, ‘what makes me think that God has left me to suffer and fight back the lies all by myself’?  Because, the truth I know to be true is this:  He is there.  He will never leave me.  I am His Beloved.  


I am His Beloved.  I have to tell myself this every day.  Because every day is a battle to climb up out of the pit of lies to reach His truths.  So how do I get back to the place I once was?  Trust.  Trust despite the way my feelings may feel.  Trust despite the way my children see me and treat me.  Trust despite the lies and chaos swirling around my life.  And fight them back with truth; the deep down knowing that I know truth that lives and breathes inside of me.  

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