Pride
One of the biggest hurdles that I had to face when meeting and marrying my husband was to be comfortable relying on him and not want to do it all on my own anymore. Adam was wanting to help provide for us, but I wouldn't allow him to do that either. You see, after my divorce, I was determined that I would never rely on another man again for anything. I was determined to make it on my own, and I did just that. I told myself that the only person I would ever rely on again was me. I had a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that I was able to make it on my salary alone and was able to put money away in case of an emergency. I was proud at the fact that I could survive and not need any help financially; that I was making it on my own.
It all changed though. In an instant, I went from getting by to not having enough. Adam would try to help out financially, but I wouldn't allow him. I was too prideful to do so. I knew that God was working on me. I felt it in my spirit that I was needing to address this about myself. For the first time, I was able to see that my pride was getting in the way of a blessing. The blessing of not struggling anymore. The blessing of help. The blessing of a wonderful new beginning.
You see, I didn't know it at the time, but God was setting me up for my future in those moments; He had plans for me. He knew my deepest heart's desire was to be a mom and having the opportunity to stay at home with the boys would be a dream come true. But before I could receive that blessing, I had to be completely comfortable with relying on Adam and allowing him to provide for us. I needed the walls of pride to be torn down to fully embrace the next blessing that was to come.
God sure does have a way of humbling us fast. It's in those times when I don't realize I have an issue, that I am most grateful. Because He loves me enough to want to help. He wants to open my eyes to see things as He sees them. When you are going through it all, you can't fully grasp the 'whys'. You don't understand the timing. But you don't need too. When you walk by faith and give in to His correction and teaching, the blessing of overcoming something is life changing. The blessing of overcoming my pride was that He made a way for me to stay at home with the boys. He is providing for our family. He made a way for Adam to make my dream come true.
It took a lot of effort and praying to get me through those times of tearing down those walls of pride. It was hard and painful, but totally worth every bit of it. My journey isn't over just yet as I still struggle with it a little bit today. I know that I have come a long way in two years and I look forward to how much more I can grow in the future with God's help.
So, God, thank you for humbling my heart. Thank you for opening my eyes to things unseen. Thank you for making my dream come true. Thank you for your correction and teaching. Thank you for loving me.
It all changed though. In an instant, I went from getting by to not having enough. Adam would try to help out financially, but I wouldn't allow him. I was too prideful to do so. I knew that God was working on me. I felt it in my spirit that I was needing to address this about myself. For the first time, I was able to see that my pride was getting in the way of a blessing. The blessing of not struggling anymore. The blessing of help. The blessing of a wonderful new beginning.
You see, I didn't know it at the time, but God was setting me up for my future in those moments; He had plans for me. He knew my deepest heart's desire was to be a mom and having the opportunity to stay at home with the boys would be a dream come true. But before I could receive that blessing, I had to be completely comfortable with relying on Adam and allowing him to provide for us. I needed the walls of pride to be torn down to fully embrace the next blessing that was to come.
God sure does have a way of humbling us fast. It's in those times when I don't realize I have an issue, that I am most grateful. Because He loves me enough to want to help. He wants to open my eyes to see things as He sees them. When you are going through it all, you can't fully grasp the 'whys'. You don't understand the timing. But you don't need too. When you walk by faith and give in to His correction and teaching, the blessing of overcoming something is life changing. The blessing of overcoming my pride was that He made a way for me to stay at home with the boys. He is providing for our family. He made a way for Adam to make my dream come true.
It took a lot of effort and praying to get me through those times of tearing down those walls of pride. It was hard and painful, but totally worth every bit of it. My journey isn't over just yet as I still struggle with it a little bit today. I know that I have come a long way in two years and I look forward to how much more I can grow in the future with God's help.
So, God, thank you for humbling my heart. Thank you for opening my eyes to things unseen. Thank you for making my dream come true. Thank you for your correction and teaching. Thank you for loving me.