Monday Blues

I know we shouldn't dread anything, but I do.  Every other Monday that rolls around, I dread it.  It's because, every other Monday, I have to say goodbye to the boys for a week.  Some weeks are harder than others. Some weeks without them seem to go by quickly, others not so much.  This week, it's hard. I'm sitting here, by the lake, watching them fish and just be boys.  I'm watching them cast their lines out with such anticipation because of what they may catch.  I'm listening to them laugh and carry on. It's been a busy, fun-filled week for us on the water.  I'm not ready for them to leave just yet.  All I can think about is what I will miss this week when they are away.

I don't want to say goodbye to them tonight.  I want them to stay.  This is the side of divorce that stinks.  This is the hard part.  My heart is heavy and hurting tonight, so I have to remind myself that they'll be back in no time.  I have a week of fun-filled moments that will get me through till next Monday when they come home.  

 As I sit and watch, I'm also talking to God.  Telling Him how difficult this moment is on me right now.  It's in these difficult moments when I hear God whisper the loudest.  Tonight, God reminded me how incredibly thankful I am for my husband.  He reminded me that my husband has made my dream of being a stay at home mom come true.  He has given me the ultimate gift.  Because of him, I am able to spend every single minute with them when they are home.  I don't miss a moment anymore.  I am able to have an amazing amount of quality time.  And that is something I will treasure for a lifetime.

 So the next Monday that rolls around and I have to say goodbye, I'll have a different outlook.  Instead of being sad, I'll rejoice.  Never again will I dread a Monday.  I am always going to be thankful for the opportunity to be what I've always wanted to be...and that's a mom.       
   

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