Beauty for Ashes

I know the reckless love God has for me firsthand.  It’s a love that never fails.  Never leaves me.  It’s a love that isn’t conditional based on my performance or things I may own.  It’s a love so pure and genuine, full of mercy and grace that He freely extends to me each day.  Despite my failures, He always welcomes me in.  He loves me through my mistakes.  Through my heartaches.  Through every moment of my life He is there; wanting to be apart of it.  The door to my heart isn’t alway open for Him.  In fact, the walls I build slam it shut.  But because of His reckless love for me, He waits patiently for me to open the door again.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6 How do I trust in the Lord with all my heart, when all my heart hurts?  How do I get to that place I once was where this was all I had?  The trusting doesn’t come easily for me anymore.  My child-like faith has been sucked up by life and the storms in it.  Causing me to stumble and fall; and blow around in the wind without knowing the direction I’m to go.     I’m sure, with anyone’s walk, they find themselves in a place like this at one time.  Feeling beat up and broken; and not knowing if God is still pleased with them.  I should know how to get back to the place of being able to trust; for God has been there by my side through the worst parts of my life.   Through infidelity, divorce, emotional abuse and the destruction caused by a narcissist; without Him, there wouldn’t be the me today.  I know when I am

The light. It speaks to me everyday.  As I sip my morning coffee it greets me.  As I go about my day, it shines through in unexpected ways.  As I walk through my grandma’s house, it stops me in my tracks.  There is something magical about light, and how it makes me feel; a deep appreciation for it’s beauty that at one time went unseen.  I suppose that is why we go through dark times; to allow the beauty of the light to drown it out, so that His light can shine into the mundane and heartbreaking situations that make life, life.   My grandma found me starring at her bathroom window this day.  I asked her if she has ever noticed the light rays and the dust floating in its beauty?  Her response, “I’m glad you appreciate the light”.  She went on to say, “I can’t live in a dark house.”  “I have to have light coming in”.   I suppose she feels the same way I do about it all; the light and dark.  The trials and joys of life.  Her life has seen some of the same heartache mine has.  A