Beauty for Ashes

I will love you regardless  Of what you do to me. You can yell and shout Or shut me out completely. I will love you regardless Because I choose to forgive. I overlook the hate And see you, instead. I will love you regardless of what you do to me. Because I choose to extend grace In the face of a hard reality. I will love you regardless Because I choose to forgive. The harsh words and rejection That you so freely give. I will love you regardless Because that’s what all mothers do. You are part of my heart No matter what you do.

As I sit at my desk and look out over the city, I can see in the distance a storm is rolling in over the Rocky Mountains.  As I watch, it moves closer and closer, lightning is popping and thunder is crashing.  I can see the clouds breaking open giving way to the rain that is to follow. I can’t help but feel the storm brewing inside of me in this moment.  My heart pounding, and the grief growing too heavy to hold back behind my eyes.  They give way, and allow the tears to stream down my face mirroring the rain streaming down the window.  And in that moment, the breaking of the clouds reminded me that in the breaking of ourselves, so much growth can take place because of the rain.   I try and use this platform, to bring Glory to God and to be vulnerable with the things He is taking me through; because you just never know who needs to hear the words you have to say.  And after all the sharing I’ve done in the past, it still feels awkward and the fear of how it will be received

Opposition is pushing against me; trying to break me with harsh words.  They are trying to surround me, locking me in among the thorns.  I don’t belong in the muck, chained down to lies and titles that are thrown on me.  I don’t belong in the tangled web of chaos either.  I refuse to allow the lies to seep in.  I refuse to allow bitterness to loom.  I refuse to bend and change my morals and convictions in order to be loved or worthy.  I refuse to allow them to define who I am because only Christ can do that.     I have to make a decision; to allow the opposition to continue to push me around in the muck or dig in my heels, put on my crown and shove back with the truth that is living and breathing inside of me.  My place is somewhere extravagant; and His plans are always good.  There comes a time in life where you have to let go in order to be free; and that time is now for me.  I’m letting go in order to live.  I’m letting go in order to be free.  I’m letting go in order to be