Beauty for Ashes

I know I write about my faith a lot.  Sharing lessons learned and trials that I’ve overcome.  I know it’s not for everyone, and that a lot of people probably don’t want to hear the things I have to say.  My purpose isn’t to be someone who’s voice is loud and screams so all can hear.  I write for that one.  That one who needs encouragement.  That one who needs to know that they are not alone.  That one is why I endured the things I’ve endured and the reason I feel led to share.   God has done so many amazing things in my life, and it’s no surprise that He continues to show up so that I may see.  I’ve learned over the years that He will use the most ordinary of moments to show you what He needs you to understand; and the other day, on about mile three, He whispered a question to me.   “Why do you run?” You see, I was pushing myself a little harder than normal by adding extra miles that day.  I was running because life was hard in that moment.  I was running out the stress an

Like in years past, I’m up before dawn reminiscing about this day-  the day you were born.  I tell myself that every year will get easier, but it hasn’t yet.  That every year I won’t feel that tug on my heart saying, “it’s almost time”.  The same tug that once spoke those words when I was awaiting your arrival now have a different meaning.  Instead of coming, you’re closer to going.  Going out to forge your way in the world.  The tug will always be there, I suppose.  It is a reminder that  you’re growing up quicker than I anticipated or would like.  Quicker than my mama heart can handle.  A reminder that these moments are precious and not to take them for granted. But every year, just like I feel that familiar tug on my heart, I also feel the excitement of what’s to come.  The anticipation of all the good things your future holds.  The potential waiting for you to grab hold of and conquer.  This world and some people in it will tell you that you aren’t good enough.  That you d

I can remember a time in my life that when I thought about who I was, all I could name were the titles I had placed on myself.  My identity was consumed by what was going on in my life at the time.  I was allowing who I was to be defined by the issues and destruction swirling all around me. Where when I thought about the way people saw me all they saw was a divorced, single mom.  They saw a failure.  Maybe even a quitter.  I felt ashamed all the time, especially in church.  So I hid a lot of me, so to speak.  I avoided certain conversations and situations.  I couldn’t even look at myself without feeling this overwhelming sense that everyone saw me the same way.   It was tough living with those titles over my life.  I walked around for years with my head held down; trying my best to hide the immense amount of shame I felt.  And it wasn’t until I found the truth did I fully embrace the freedom that comes with knowing it.  With whole-heartedly believing it with all that I am.  My

I know you feel it.  The gentle breeze on the back of your neck.  The nudge in the pit of your stomach saying, “it’s time”.  I know you feel it; the closing of one life season and the beginning of the next one begging to be brought to life.   A tearing away from the old and clinging to the new.  I know how painful it can be to let go.  To let go of what was for the unknown of what is to be.  To be stuck somewhere in the shadows, too afraid to take that step into the next season, thinking, “I’m not ready”.   Trading the “I’m not ready” for “I trust Your plans” is a process that we all have to work through.  It’s different for us all, but ultimately is designed to propel us into the life He has in store for us.  Taking all the bad and all the good and using it to nudge us forward, with Him, into what is to be.   A beautiful life is waiting for us all to be lived.  He has put together every detail and it’s up to us to turn those “I’m not ready” thoughts into faith steps forwa