What's Left

I feel like the last few years all I’ve been doing is climbing but not really going anywhere, you know?  And while in the wilderness, it's easy to see the things I’m missing in my life or the things that I have lost.  I notice what I lack and am quick to point out my weaknesses and flaws.  My head has me questioning where God is in the middle of all this, but my heart knows He is right there and that I can come to Him just as I am.  It’s a constant pull between what I know to be true and what the enemy wants me to hear and believe.


And the hard part, at least for me, is to push past the lies in order to seek the entire truth.  To rest in His promises and love and see the blessings in the mundane and ordinary moments.  To see the blessings in the storm and rely on my faith until His promises come to pass.  I have my moments of clarity, the moments when I can see the beauty.  But I also have moments of darkness, where the storms cloud my eyesight showing me the pain and heartache I’ve endured.  


But I can’t stay in the darkness because I know that there is more inside of me.  What’s left doesn’t become useless, but is powerful.  Fueled by His grace and love, by redemption and compassion.  What is left is fueled by the Holy Spirit living and breathing inside of me.  And just because I am broken and have walked a hard journey, that doesn’t void what God wants to do through my life.  

Popular posts from this blog

Thank You, God, for Making Me a Mom

Looking back on my life, when I was just a small girl, I dreamt of becoming a mother one day. Being a mom was the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up.  I didn't have aspirations to be a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher.  I simply wanted to be a mom.  So today, I am so thankful to my God.  He is the one who allowed my childhood dream of motherhood to come true. I am truly humbled that he picked me to be Cody and Owen's mommy. I come from a lineage of women who set the perfect example of what it is to be a great mom. The love of a mother is endless, as my mom, continues to show me even as I am an adult and have children of my own.   Today is the day we celebrate our moms and all of their hard work.  To show our appreciation to the one who has cared for us and loved us from day one.  As I celebrate my mother and all she continues to do, I am also reflecting upon my God.  What a mighty God we serve.  It's because of His blessings, I am a mom of two.  I am also thi
Read more

A Letter to my Boys

Cody and Owen, If I could give you any kind of advice it would be to just live.  Live your lives to the fullest.  Don't be afraid to go on new adventures.  Travel the world.  Don't be afraid to experience new things.  Meet new people.  Try new foods-at least once.  Do not ever be okay with the status quo.  Take risks.  Dream bigger.  When you are told no, don't let it defeat you.  Let it drive you.  Never lose that drive to become better men.  You only get one shot at this life, don't waste a single minute of it. Most importantly though, have a heart that loves God.  Put Him first above all else.  Live a life that honors Him.  He will watch over your coming and going. Because one day, you will leave home to forge your own way in this world.  At times, it will seem big and scary.  He will be your protector.  He will guide you along the paths you are to walk down.  Remember to be still and listen for His voice.  Consult Him on every decision.  No matter how big or
Read more
It’s hard to believe that this will be the second Christmas without my boys in it.  But even in their absence, they will still be here in memory and carried throughout the day in my heart.  Ever since this parental alienation journey began, it’s been my goal to still celebrate them and keep up with the traditions I’ve always done; even if they wouldn’t be here to see it.  Their stockings are hung, their picture with Santa has been placed on the top of the piano and their artwork from preschool have been displayed.  All in attempt to keep them alive and present with us all.   Boys, we may not be together, but I am always here.  I pray that your Christmas is filled with unspeakable joy and love as you move into the New Year.  I am praying big things over your lives and future, and I need you to know that you are loved, you are wanted and we will never give up on you.  
Read more