On My Own
Our Pastor gave such a great sermon on Sunday. I know that a lot of people left service that day impacted by his words. I know I left with parts of it tucked away in my heart. He spoke about patience. And in that, he spoke about being patient while you are single. I have been praying for a couple ladies for a while now, and this topic is on my heart to write about. To tell a little bit of what I went through during that time.
You know, after I was thrown into being a single mom, I didn't really know who I was. For so long, I was a wife and a mother; that's all I knew. I lost me somewhere along the way. I can remember trying to find myself and it being so hard. I can also remember thinking that I wouldn't ever be fulfilled or truly happy if I wasn't in a relationship. I felt in order to be truly happy, I had to be married. I was trying to find my worth and happiness in my relationship status. At times, I even "overlooked" things that I didn't want in a boyfriend/spouse. Does that make sense? I sometimes twisted my own wants or standards just so I wouldn't be alone. I didn't know how to "be on my own" in the beginning so if there were only a couple of things that I knew didn't meet my standards, I somehow justified that it was okay. Eventually, these relationships ended. And a few times, it was painful. You see, had I listened to that nudge, I could have spared myself a little bit of heartache. Especially since I knew they were not the right ones from the very beginning.
Becoming a single mom at the age of thirty was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I had never been single for an extended period of time. There was always someone there with me. Looking back now, I am thankful for that time of growth and for that experience because it changed me. It took me a good year before I was okay being on my own. During that time, I learned so much. I learned just where my happiness and worth were. I learned what things brought fulfillment to my life. I learned who I was again. But the most important thing I learned was to be content in the midst of my singleness and trust in God's timing.
I stumbled across something I wrote on July 31, 2011-a year after being on my own. It says, 'After ten years of marriage and now living as a single mother for a year, my relationship with the Lord has grown very strong. I think at first I longed to be with someone just because I didn't want to be alone. So I made that my goal. What I have learned is that God's timing is different than ours. We can't live by our own agenda. Patience is key. Especially, when waiting for the right person to come along. I have stopped looking for my soul mate. When the Lord feels I am ready for him and my heart has healed, then my soul mate will be revealed. I am thankful for this year of growth and for this year on my own. I may not have a companion, but I have My God; and that is enough right now. My life is so much richer than it ever has been. I am blessed, I am happy, I am fulfilled'.
Are you in that place right now? Are you trying to figure out who you are? Are you trying to find your worth and happiness in the wrong places? In the wrong people? Are you overlooking traits or characteristics you don't want in a relationship? If it isn't the right person, the one God ordained for you, that relationship will not bring an ounce of fulfillment. It will only cause heartache and trials down the road. It is perfectly okay to be single and on your own.
You know, after I was thrown into being a single mom, I didn't really know who I was. For so long, I was a wife and a mother; that's all I knew. I lost me somewhere along the way. I can remember trying to find myself and it being so hard. I can also remember thinking that I wouldn't ever be fulfilled or truly happy if I wasn't in a relationship. I felt in order to be truly happy, I had to be married. I was trying to find my worth and happiness in my relationship status. At times, I even "overlooked" things that I didn't want in a boyfriend/spouse. Does that make sense? I sometimes twisted my own wants or standards just so I wouldn't be alone. I didn't know how to "be on my own" in the beginning so if there were only a couple of things that I knew didn't meet my standards, I somehow justified that it was okay. Eventually, these relationships ended. And a few times, it was painful. You see, had I listened to that nudge, I could have spared myself a little bit of heartache. Especially since I knew they were not the right ones from the very beginning.
Becoming a single mom at the age of thirty was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I had never been single for an extended period of time. There was always someone there with me. Looking back now, I am thankful for that time of growth and for that experience because it changed me. It took me a good year before I was okay being on my own. During that time, I learned so much. I learned just where my happiness and worth were. I learned what things brought fulfillment to my life. I learned who I was again. But the most important thing I learned was to be content in the midst of my singleness and trust in God's timing. I stumbled across something I wrote on July 31, 2011-a year after being on my own. It says, 'After ten years of marriage and now living as a single mother for a year, my relationship with the Lord has grown very strong. I think at first I longed to be with someone just because I didn't want to be alone. So I made that my goal. What I have learned is that God's timing is different than ours. We can't live by our own agenda. Patience is key. Especially, when waiting for the right person to come along. I have stopped looking for my soul mate. When the Lord feels I am ready for him and my heart has healed, then my soul mate will be revealed. I am thankful for this year of growth and for this year on my own. I may not have a companion, but I have My God; and that is enough right now. My life is so much richer than it ever has been. I am blessed, I am happy, I am fulfilled'.
Are you in that place right now? Are you trying to figure out who you are? Are you trying to find your worth and happiness in the wrong places? In the wrong people? Are you overlooking traits or characteristics you don't want in a relationship? If it isn't the right person, the one God ordained for you, that relationship will not bring an ounce of fulfillment. It will only cause heartache and trials down the road. It is perfectly okay to be single and on your own.
During this time of singleness, allow God to really be there for you in your life. Be still and listen for Him. God showed me that I would never find my worth or happiness in a relationship. I had to learn to find my happiness and worth in me first. I had to learn and eventually understand that my relationship status wouldn't bring me true happiness if I wasn't truly happy with myself.
Looking back, I can see my growth and how far I have come from that time in my life. Do you know what brings you happiness? Do you know what makes your life fulfilling? If not, I challenge you to really seek after those answers. And remember, a moment of singleness now will provide you with a lifetime of happiness when God's best finds you.
Looking back, I can see my growth and how far I have come from that time in my life. Do you know what brings you happiness? Do you know what makes your life fulfilling? If not, I challenge you to really seek after those answers. And remember, a moment of singleness now will provide you with a lifetime of happiness when God's best finds you.