A Great Peace


The usual stress I feel at this point of the fertility drug process has been replaced by such a great peace.  My spirit and emotions are at ease tonight.  It's because I have finally found rest with my Savior.  I finally gave up trying to control the infertility situation.  Sometimes, it is so hard to let go and place it in God's hands.  But once you do, it's such an amazing feeling. The stress and anxiety just subside.  I was letting it consume me day in and day out.  That's not any way to live.  I know that I am going to have more children.  I just have to remember in God's timing, not mine.


I have been very open about this season of our lives.  Partly because I feel like if I blog about it, I release all the fear and pain and uncertainty that's on the inside.  But mostly, because I know that I am not alone with the pain and struggles due to infertility.  I know that someone out there understands my turmoil and that is a comforting thought.  I ask for as many prayers as possible as Adam and I walk down a different road this month.  This morning I had a procedure.  I'm not going to allow my mind to jump ahead and be consumed with the thoughts of if it will work or not.  I'm just going to keep praying and lifting up every fear and concern to Him.  To the only one who can fill me with peace.  And hopefully, after its all said and done, it'll make us a family of five OR six.  

Popular posts from this blog

Thank You, God, for Making Me a Mom

Looking back on my life, when I was just a small girl, I dreamt of becoming a mother one day. Being a mom was the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up.  I didn't have aspirations to be a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher.  I simply wanted to be a mom.  So today, I am so thankful to my God.  He is the one who allowed my childhood dream of motherhood to come true. I am truly humbled that he picked me to be Cody and Owen's mommy. I come from a lineage of women who set the perfect example of what it is to be a great mom. The love of a mother is endless, as my mom, continues to show me even as I am an adult and have children of my own.   Today is the day we celebrate our moms and all of their hard work.  To show our appreciation to the one who has cared for us and loved us from day one.  As I celebrate my mother and all she continues to do, I am also reflecting upon my God.  What a mighty God we serve.  It's because of His blessings, I am a mom of two.  I am also thi
Read more

A Letter to my Boys

Cody and Owen, If I could give you any kind of advice it would be to just live.  Live your lives to the fullest.  Don't be afraid to go on new adventures.  Travel the world.  Don't be afraid to experience new things.  Meet new people.  Try new foods-at least once.  Do not ever be okay with the status quo.  Take risks.  Dream bigger.  When you are told no, don't let it defeat you.  Let it drive you.  Never lose that drive to become better men.  You only get one shot at this life, don't waste a single minute of it. Most importantly though, have a heart that loves God.  Put Him first above all else.  Live a life that honors Him.  He will watch over your coming and going. Because one day, you will leave home to forge your own way in this world.  At times, it will seem big and scary.  He will be your protector.  He will guide you along the paths you are to walk down.  Remember to be still and listen for His voice.  Consult Him on every decision.  No matter how big or
Read more
It’s hard to believe that this will be the second Christmas without my boys in it.  But even in their absence, they will still be here in memory and carried throughout the day in my heart.  Ever since this parental alienation journey began, it’s been my goal to still celebrate them and keep up with the traditions I’ve always done; even if they wouldn’t be here to see it.  Their stockings are hung, their picture with Santa has been placed on the top of the piano and their artwork from preschool have been displayed.  All in attempt to keep them alive and present with us all.   Boys, we may not be together, but I am always here.  I pray that your Christmas is filled with unspeakable joy and love as you move into the New Year.  I am praying big things over your lives and future, and I need you to know that you are loved, you are wanted and we will never give up on you.  
Read more